The feeling of staring at a blank page (or screen) without an idea of what to write is a frustrating one that most people have experienced at one time or another. A teenager applying to college sometimes faces this situation for various reasons. There is the paralyzing fear of “whatever I write won’t encapsulate all of me,” “nothing I’ve done is so extraordinary,” and other similar concerns. It’s important to acknowledge writer’s block when it happens – just as professional writers do – but there are ways to circumvent the blank page and take the pressure off the feeling that the college essay needs to be the ultimate distillation of seventeen or eighteen years of life; it isn’t, and it isn’t supposed to be. Taking the pressure off and recognizing that the personal statement is just one element in a series of submissions a student provides to potential colleges should ease anxiety.
Look at the College Essay (Personal Statement) as a Gift Colleges are Offering
Knowing that the personal statement is part of the “holistic” admissions philosophy of most colleges in the United States means that the college essay is actually a way for a student to shine beyond test scores and grades. Students applying to university in other countries often do not have the opportunity to tell admissions officers about themselves, and sometimes a single final exam grade at the end of high school is the make-or-break moment for these students’ futures. Therefore, viewing the personal statement as a gift colleges offer prospective students is one way to approach the college essay.
The prompts for the Common Application, for example, enable students to focus their writing, and there is ample room for different types of responses. To relieve some of the pressure of writing this essay, students should realize that the essay should be well written, edited, and clear, but that they are not applying to creative writing programs (in most cases) and their readers are not expecting prose worthy of the Nobel Prize for Literature. That being said, there is no excuse for grammatical errors, and essays typically can be improved after a first draft, so leaving enough time for the writing process before a deadline is essential.
Start with Experiences and not with Accomplishments.
Parents typically know their teens well and have been a part of many of their formative experiences. Instead of focusing on accomplishments – awards received, etc. – encourage students to think about experiences that have challenged them, or that might reveal something about who they are.
Perhaps a community service activity or part-time job, where no “award” was given, but helped the student see the world in a new way, will provide a topic. Students can and should think about all their activities throughout high school (and earlier) when brainstorming topics, and sometimes a new topic will emerge from this. For example, a student looking back on how they solve problems may realize that they have always been organized and tackle work in a specific way. Another student may conclude that they have always been a builder. An essay might be one way for a student to discuss how they approach projects across different fields and over time, providing admissions officers with an opportunity to understand how that particular student thinks.
Generate a List of Questions to Jog a Student’s Memory
The Common App prompts are one way to generate questions to jog a student’s memory since they are questions themselves. Go through the Common App prompts one at a time and see which ones resonate most with the student. Then, the student can brainstorm a couple of them. For a question about an obstacle overcome, the student can reflect on setbacks across domains and make a list. For the question about someone the student is particularly grateful for, the student can generate a list of important people in their life and write a little about each one and why they are grateful for that person. By breaking down the prompts, the student should feel they are accomplishing something. This brainstorming is a form of pre-writing and sets the student up for success when drafting begins.
Parents can also ask about activities or subjects the student loves and talk about when the initial interest in the subject or activity began. There may have been a special fishing trip with Grandpa during elementary school, when the student became particularly interested in marine life. A parent can be helpful to the student since the parent will often know about these experiences and perhaps even remember them a bit differently (or remember the student’s reaction to them differently)
Another helpful question could be “What experiences made you see something differently?” “What is something you failed at or struggled with and learned something from?”
Look for the Story Behind the Story
You can help your teenager understand that the topic itself isn’t what makes an essay strong. Rather, the student’s reflection on the experience is what creates a compelling personal statement. A student should continue to think about different aspects of their life. What have they learned through volunteering, for instance? If they play a sport, how
did their relationship with competition change over time? Did they have to care for a sibling? If so, how did this responsibility influence their perspective on life? If the student participated in a national organization such as Science Olympiad and led a team, what challenges did they face along the way? The goal is to move from “what happened” to “why did it matter?”
Let Your Teen Own the Story
The student should not feel forced to write about a topic they are not interested in, nor should they feel that they have to describe events and realizations in a particular way. After the brainstorming phase, parents can step back and let the teen write the initial draft of the essay themself, then offer to read it after the draft is complete. The best topic is one the student chooses and about which they feel they have something to say. Parents should resist choosing the most impressive topic. The best essay may come from an ordinary experience that reveals something extraordinary about the student.
Why Your Teen Still Can’t Find a Topic – The Greenhaus Philosophy
Sometimes students need someone outside the family to ask the right questions and help them recognize stories they don’t see as interesting themselves. The student could ask an older sibling, another family member, or a trusted teacher for help, or the family member could hire a college essay coach. The essay coach can work with the student to refine their ideas and also offer a neutral perspective. An essay coach, although invested in the student’s success, has not been a part of the student’s life previously and, therefore, has no memories of the events the student may be writing about. This position of neutrality is beneficial because the essay coach may point out aspects of an existing narrative that the student doesn’t see or hear, listen to the student, and serve as a sounding board to help the student pick a topic/story they feel passionate about. A good essay coach can coax these ideas and stories out of a student and then offer suggestions on how to structure, edit, and refine the essay so that the student’s voice and conclusions are clearly conveyed.
There is no one right way to approach the college essay (personal statement). But open communication with the student about potential topics, either within the family, with other trusted adults, or with a college essay coach, is critical. The essay (or several essays) are within the teenager – it is first a matter of getting the thoughts on the page in an engaging way so that the student’s qualities, ways of thinking, and other aspects
of their personality appear on the page (or screen); then, by the end of reading the statement, the college admissions officer will certainly feel they have gotten to know the student on a deeper level and “knows” the student much better than before reading the essay. If the admissions officer feels this way, the student’s essay will have achieved the goal.
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Need help writing a strong college application essay? Greenhaus College Consulting provides personalized college essay help and expert college admissions consulting to help students develop authentic, compelling essays that stand out to admissions officers. From brainstorming and outlining to editing and final revisions, our experienced consultants guide students through every step while helping them maintain their unique voice. Schedule a consultation today with Greenhaus College Consulting and take the next step toward a stronger college application.
www.greenhauscollegeconsulting.com 858-204-0659- Call today!

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